A Celebration It Was!!

The Celebration of Peggy was awesome. New Life Community Church is a group of people so focused on Christ. The community God has created there is something special. Their sancutuary seats about 500 people. The Memorial Celebaration of Peggy packed the house! Some sat in overflow. What a blessing.

Pastor Steve gave a "matter of fact" sermon about the difficulty we face at death's door and the hope offered through Jesus. The service was non-traditional and had great up-beat Christian music, just the way Peggy would have wanted. The messages were great from all of the family and I felt particularly blessed to have spoken at the service and made it through without getting too choked up from emotion.

Included is an image of the program at the service. This is Peggy's oldest daughter Lexi's copy. She wrote some notes to her mom on the program. I have to say watching Lexi during the service was amazing. Some say at 10 years old she is a "spiritual giant". I'd have to agree. She was praising God in the worship songs and focused in her prayers. She has a steadfast faith, just like her momma. It is going to be great to see what God will do in and through her over the years.

I will be posting the content of the Memorial Service Program shortly. The service can still be viewed at: www.ustream.tv/channel/newlifeoxnard

If you have been impacted by what God is doing through Peggy, give this blog a comment. The Wolf Family will be encouraged by it and the kids will be able to read about it for years to come.

I'm looking forward to seeing what God will continue doing in all of this and what He will continue to do with this Blog!

CELEBRATION OF PEGGY'S LIFE

PEGGY'S CELEBRATION MEMORIAL SERVICE

Saturday, November 28th, 2009 at 2Pm (PST)

at New Life Community Church

1960 North C Street, Oxnard, California

__________________________________

LIVE FEED
A live feed of the service will be provided for those who cannot attend at:
www.ustream.tv/channel/newlifeoxnard
__________________________________

GIFTS
In Leu of Flowers please send gifts payable to:

Friends of Peggy Wolf Fund

Santa Barbara Bank and Trust
400 E. Esplanade Drive, Suite 101
Oxnard, CA 93030
__________________________________

NOTE TO THE WOLF FAMILY
Do you have something to tell the Wolf Family or picture to show them go to:

www.wavelength10.com/peggys_page.pdf

There you will find instructions on writing a message and showing some photos to the Wolf family. You can write a note and import some photos print out the page and bring it to the memorial service to drop off for the Wolf Family to read and share with the kids as they grow older. We appreciate all of your prayers and blessings to Peggy and the Wolf Family.

Victorious

"O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting..." "but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" 1Cor. 15:54 and 57

Peggy Victory Blog. Was she victorious? At first blush there might be "an elephant in the room" we need to discuss. Peggy set up her blog to be victorious. Was she?

Cancer placed a grip on her phyiscal life and ultimately took it. The cancer is not of God. It is a mutation of death that was brought on by sin entering the world long long ago. Satan introduced sin. So at first blush cancer won. But remember with Christ we are a new creation. Christ conquered death on the cross. Satan thought he had Jesus, but think again!

When Peggy was 15 years old, she said a simple prayer at a winter camp to acknowledge and accept that Jesus Christ is her Lord and personal Savior. There were no forms to fill out, no interviews to do, no classes to take, it was a simple personal prayer of willingness to yeild her life to the Lord Almighty God through Jesus Christ. What ensued was abundant life for Peggy. As Peggy's life progressed, God continued to pour on the rich love and strong living even last week in her most frail state. After she was told that she was terminal and medical science can no longer help her, she shifted that portion of hope she had in medical science and placed it in the capable hand of Christ. Since that time Peggy said "it has been some of the best days of my life".

Why is that? A woman who is terminally ill and physically has limited hope for survival, yet she is joyful, hopeful, unwaivered faith in Jesus and focused on others. It is because she drew closer to God during this period like never before. While the cancer mutation snuck in unwelcomed and began to pull phyiscal life from Peggy, the abundant love of Jesus Christ was flooding in. Ask anyone in and around Peggy at the end, love was abundant and over flowing!!! "O Death, where is your victory? O Death, where is your sting?"

Peggy's victory is in Jesus, whether she survived or passed away. She was going to die physically at some point....all of us are. Our victory isn't triumph over preventing a physical death. We ultimately all will lose this one. The victory is in your relationship with Jesus.

All of us have been challenged to have a deeper walk with God after seeing what He has done in and around Peggy at the end of her earthly life. Some have been challenged to start their walk with Jesus, much like Peggy did when she was 15 years old. The bottom line is we need to seek victory in Jesus in everything we do. Peggy is VICTORIOUS !!! She is in victory with Christ right now. That is why on Saturday we will celebrate victory. This will not be some dark funeral, it will be a celebration of God's love He revealed to us through Peggy.

Dear Heavenly Father, while Peggy's life was taken by things not of You, we praise you for the powerful life given to Peggy when she was 15 years old, a life that is immune from the grip of death. "Thanks be to God, who gives victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Peggy's Celebration Memorial Service will be held on
Saturday November 28th, 2009 at 2Pm at
New Life Community Church
1960 North C Street, Oxnard, California

A live feed of the service will be provided for those who cannot attend at:
www.ustream.tv/channel/newlifeoxnard

In Leu of Flowers please send gifts payable to:

Friends of Peggy Wolf Fund

Santa Barbara Bank and Trust
400 E. Esplanade Drive, Suite 101
Oxnard, CA 93030


Do you have something to tell the Wolf Family or picture to show them go to:

www.wavelength10.com/peggys_page.pdf

There you will find instructions on writing a message and showing some photos to the Wolf family. You can write a note and import some photos print out the page and bring it to the memorial service to drop off for the Wolf Family to read and share with the kids as they grow older. We appreciate all of your prayers and blessings to Peggy and the Wolf Family.

Out of death comes life

At the prayer gathering we had at New Life CC last Thursday night, I was impacted by seeing a lady with oxygen in a wheel chair showing up to pray for my sister. I have never met this lady, but what I am finding out is she has been ill for a number of years with a dibilitating rare lung condition. She had been a candidate for a lung transplant for a number of years. When she heard of Peggy's illness years ago she reached out to her and provided solace and prayer for her.

In the midst of Larry's sorrow, he received news of hope. Lastnight he received a text that Julie O. could have a chance for a lung transplant and she was summoned to UCLA Medical Center immediately. While we were having dinner with the family last night, Larry dropped into a quick prayer for Julie O and the potential success of a lung transplant. Larry sent me a text this morning and said that the transplant went well and Julie O. is in ICU with a new set of lungs....Praise God. This inspired Larry. He said God spoke to him and said "out of death comes life".

Some of us had our imaginations running. Knowing Peggy and how orgainzed she was, she must have brought with her a check list of things to do right when she got to heaven. She must have been asking "Well Lord...can we use those lungs for my friend over here". The Lord might have said, "Yes Peggy, this is in my plans for today." While this conjecture is from our imaginations, the timing is all too curious. What else is on Peggy's checklist?

Prayers continue to go out to Julie O. and her recovery. Thank you, Julie, for being there for my sister and being such a strong servant of Jesus, even during your illness.

Prayer Requests:

Larry and the Kids - Continue to pray for them. They will be transitioning back to home tomorrow. While there will be many reminders of my sister, let them feel the love that she offers them by those reminders.

Memorial service - This will be a celebration of life. It is more about Jesus than Peggy. That is what Peggy would want, for people to walk away from the memorial service and say, "what she had.... is something I want". Pray for there to be a strong message and people walk away closer to Christ than when they came.

Pressing On

The last 24 hours seem like a week. We had a very emotional and sad day. However there was laughter and open talk about Peggy and how she impacted us in differing ways. We rifled through photos both recent and from our childhood. We looked at the blog comments and feel blessed from all of the prayers coming our way.

Larry and the kids are doing great. They have spent time at his sister Lauri's house. Then they came over to my Mom's house in Simi Valley for dinner tonight. We all prayed and thanked God for Peggy. Watching the kids and hearing about Larry's comments about their reaction, it seems the Lord prepared them for this. He has calmed their spirits and given them comfort. They are being kids and having fun with their cousins.

Larry indicted that some have said what God is doing here is not over. I whole heartedly agree. I have been a Christian for 25 years and minus the day I accepted Christ, I have not been moved more in my faith. God's finger prints are all over the past week.

- Last Sunday night I went to bed at home in San Diego. I prayed and Peggy was heavy on my heart. I asked the Lord to wake me in the middle of the night if He wanted me to drive up to Oxnard to see Peggy. After the prayer I could not sleep. I got up, packed and was on the road to Venutra Co. I arrived in Simi at 1am. Woke at 6am and by the time I had my first sip of coffee, my sister Sandy said Larry called the paramedics. I threw my stuff in the car and went to meet Larry and Peggy at the hospital. I guess God wanted me to be there with Peg. I arrived at the hospital 5 min. after Peg arrive. They were surprised to see me. I thank God for prompting me.

-My sister, Sandy and her fiance', Keith were able to spend some focus time on Friday with Peggy. Peggy encouraged them. Keith indicated this encouragment really impacted him. Tonight with Larry, the kids and all the cousins Keith made a commitment to the Lord.

- God touched me by allowing me to spend Peggy's final hours with her. My connection with my sister is deep. I have always looked up to her, as a solid believer in Jesus. When I was away with the Marines 25 years ago and commited my life to Christ, Peggy was the first one I wanted to talk to.

While our saddness is heavy, our spirits are encouraged about the future. I am looking forward to the future with renewed strength.

Psalms 31:10 and 11 "Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me; O Lord, be Thou my helper. Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing"

Memorial Celebration - Nov 28th 2pm

We are planning a memorial Celebration for Peggy, this Saturday, November 28th, at 2:00pm at New Life Community Church, 1960 North C Street, Oxnard, CA. All family, friends and loved ones are invited to come. Our daughter Lexie has requested that people wear white or bright colors, since we are celebrating Peggy's entry into Heaven :-) We will attempt again to set up a better Live Streaming webcast for those who are out of town, details to come. Thank you all for your prayers, love and support.

For me, to Live is Christ and to die is gain

Peggy went home to be with the Lord this morning at 9:30 am. I had the honor to be by her side with Larry, Larry's sister Lauri, our Mom, our brother Jeff, our sister Sandy and Keith. The photo here is Mom holding her daughter's hand about an hour before she went home to be with Jesus.

As I mentioned I did not see Peggy yesterday. She needed a quieter day. The medical side said she needed the time to focus on healing. But in hind sight she needed a quieter day to talk to God. My sister Peggy is stubborn. Those around her said she would be talking to God. No one knew clearly what was being said, but it was between Peggy and the Lord Almighty. I can clearly say that I know God more now than I did a week ago.

Peggy did not want to die. She wanted to be a mother to her children and a wife to Larry. We did not want her to die as well. But God's Plan in this has been revealed to us. As mysterious and incomprehensible as it is, we need to trust that His Plan is perfect and glorious. Either you are on board with it or you are going to wear yourself out pushing away from His plan. My stubborn sister wanted to fight and show that she cleared the way for God to heal her. I believe yesterday God and Peggy were discussing things and God's plan was still on course for Peggy to go home at 9:30 am, just like He had planned it all along. I don't come close to understanding why, but I do know the Lord Almighty knows why. And when we find out why, we will be amazed!!!

Why do I know more about God? Over the last week I have swung from the hope side to the physical side. Was God capable of healing Peggy? Absolutely! But He choose not to. Were we all in the right by holding out hope to the end.???..... Of course, that is what Peggy wanted. Peggy knew she would be in a better place, but she was torn between the heavenly kingdom she knows and has studied..... and the earthly labors she felt responsible for. Her fight and her stubbornness was right on.....and inspirational! I am sooooo proud of her. Look closely at the verse below:

Philippians 1:21-24 "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake."

As you can see, Peggy is in a better place, she is not suffering, she is in extreme joy. Lauri (Larry's sister) has been spending time with Larry and the kids. They are doing great and talking openly about mommy being in heaven. God inspired Lauri to say to the kids that Peggy is with her two other kids. Many may remember Peggy had two miscarriages. My sister loved them as well. Lexi heard what Lauri said, had a beaming look on her face and said "Mom always said she had 5 kids". This might give us a glimpse into the "why", not entirely but it is a beautiful glimpse.

Also the photo I put in here is a "transfer of the baton" that Peggy talked to me about in the ER on Monday. She said "you-all may need to carry the baton". It was an absolute passion of Peggy's to see her mother and sister have a deeper walk with the Lord. Through all of this, my Mom and Sandy have personally been drawn closer to Jesus. Peggy was able to see this. The photo to me depicts that "transfer of the baton".....transferring-the-baton of a deeper relationship with Christ for not only my Mom, but for me, for Larry, and for everyone else who has been touched by Peggy.

I want you to know this is not the end of the blog. There is a lot more to the story that I will post.

On a personal note... Larry and the kids are our focus now. Larry has a road ahead of him. But he is a strong man of God. I am so proud of him. He is an inspiration.

This illness has taken it's toll on Peggy's family financially. We are requesting that if you have it on your heart to send flowers...in lieu, please send gifts to a trust account set up for the Wolf Family:

Make Check Payable to:

Friends of Peggy Wolf Fund

Send to:
Santa Barbara Bank and Trust
400 E. Esplanade Drive, Suite 101
Oxnard, California 93030

God bless you all for being in the fight with Peggy. She was so empowered by all of you. I look forward to giving you added dimensions of Peggy and the story as the Lord leads.

Prayer Requests:

-Peggy...well she is complete and perfected....Praise GOD!!!

-Larry and the Kids need our focused support in prayer. They will be in the throws of grief, joy and heavy adjustments in their daily routine.

-Pray for protection of those who intend to assist the Wolf family, that their desire to help is realized.

-Pray for those touched by Peggy that maybe considering a closer relationship with Jesus. Pray that they step out in faith and yield their lives much like Peggy did.

Don't Worry???

Yesterday was a quieter day for Peggy and Larry. Peggy had the rest she needed to continue the good fight.Thursday night was a rough night. However, Friday night she did well.

It is 4am on Saturday now and I am with Peggy while Larry gets much needed rest.She is sleeping well. Her heart rate is up in the 130 to 140 bpm range. Pray that it drops closer to 100 bpm.

Yesterday afternoon Larry took his kids to the miniture golf course. They had some alone time with Dad. Then they were out with Grandma, Grandpa and cousins for dinner and a movie.

I did not see Peggy yesterday, but those that did said she was resting much of the day. But at times she was alert and interactive. She is still very weak. She can be seemingly frustrated with her weakness, but then she'll drop into praising the Lord and reciting scripture to calm herself.

Thinking of a calming scripture ... Phil. 4:6,7 "Be anxious for nothing,but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus".

Ok let's think about this, here Peggy is in a very serious condition. We are not to be anxious, not to worry? Well that's right, if you push into close proximity to the Lord Almighty, He will offer a calming peace which is hard to comprehend, just like. Peggy did yesterday by quoting scripture. We can all do this through whatever minor or major trials we are facing. Are you worring? Then put it at Jesus' feet, don't take it on by yourself.

Prayer requests for today:

Pain Medication: Peggy does need rest and the pain meds do help rest her, however they put her in a more lethargic state. Plus on Thursday night the amount of meds were too much. Please pray that the nurses, doctors, Peggy and Larry can find the right balance for Peggy to keep her comfortable yet allow her to be alert.

Pray that her heart rate can lower near 90 to 100 bpm.

Pray for her ability to calm herself with God's Word and rest in Him and His plan.

Pray for the battle against the "evil wall".... Destruction of the cancer cells.

Pray that infection is prevented.

Pray for her breathing, that it is smooth and natural and her lungs are protected as well as all of her organs and the lungs have room to expand and contract.

Pray that Peggy, Larry, their family and all of us draw closer to Jesus than we ever have before.

Peggy get's peace knowing that all of you are praying and drawing closer to the Lord by all of this. If you get a chance please send in some testimonials on what God is doing in your life. We can read them to Peggy.

Blessings to all of you,Fight the good Fight and Keep up the prayers.

Hold Strong

Yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster. Peggy looked better with energy in the morning and the mid afternoon. The late morning and evening seemed to be tough.

Liquisha and Aimee pulled together a prayer gathering at church last night. We prayed last night from 6:30 to 8 pm. Before the prayer Larry clearly felt there was a spiritual battle going on...Peggy dropped into labored breathing. Larry, Wally and my Dad and Dorothy all prayed around Peggy. People started trickling in at 6:30 pm at the church. There was about 50 to 60 people there and it was a great stand of Christians with differing background joining into the battle that rages insite of Peggy's body. It was awesome! I was feeling again that this is not about Peggy....it is about all our relationships with Jesus. (Peggy whole-heartedly agrees) She is ALL about being used by God in whatever way He sees fit, so that eyes might turn to God. Hopefuly, all of us look into the mirror and say "God what would you have me do today?"

Larry and Peggy had a rough night. We need to continue to pray in our place that the Lord does his amazing work. We all need to realize that we may not always understand how He makes something good our of something bad and difficult. But we need to remember His plan is perfect and glorious.

Visitation at the hospital is very limited now. Larry needs time with Peggy.

"Does He then, who provides you with the Spirit and works miracles among you, do it by the works of the Law, or by hearing with Faith?" Galatians 3:5

Well clearly it is faith in the Lord and His plan. We need to yeild ourselves constantly to what He wants us to do v. what we want to do. The miracle is found by those that seek Him out.

Specific Prayer Requests:

- Pray for continued protection of Peggy's strong spirit.
- Pray for rest and protection of Larry
- Pray for the destruction of the cancer cells
- Pray for the reversal of swelling
- Pray for Lexi, Trinity and Josh's care
- Pray for God's work in you...seek Him deeper

Bless you all for being in this with Peggy. Keep praying !!!

For where two or three have gathered

This evening there will be a Prayer Gathering for Peggy's continued Healing at:

New Life Community Church in
Oxnard from 6:30 pm to 8:00 pm.

Several people have felt that. this past Tuesday was the "Valley of the Shadow of Death"for Peggy.She has emerged. Let's gather to pray for the continued healing of Peggy. One step at a time, day-by-day allowing life to be breathed back into her and the continued destruction of the "evil wall" trying to prevent life from her. Let's not stop praying that the Chief Physician continues His work.

If you are from out of town, you can join with us via a live stream (hopefully!) just click this link around 6:30pm, PST. http://www.ustream.tv/channel/peggy-prayer-room

God Directs

Peggy had a day full of rest. She still has swelling but not as bad as yesterday. She has an appetite and has had a few meals. She is getting nourished. Peggy continues to be very weak physically, but strong and focused spiritually.

It's amazing to see God working in all of this. His detailed plan being unfolded before our eyes. His servants listening and acting obedient to Him. Some serve Peggy by reading the Word, while Peggy rests (Wally...Larry's Brother)...Dr. Kerr giving incredible medical advice while fully embracing the hope that can defy medical science... Laura caring for her patient (but more importantly her sister-in-the-Lord)...Caring for their Kids (Lori my wife and Laurie, Larry's sister)... Her husband Larry, caring so diligently for his bride... the massive prayer force behind this and the many many friends and family working to support them. My sister is so wealthy from the riches of the Almighty.

Here is a study Peggy did on Nov. 12th, 2009:

"But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it." 1 Cor. 12: 18

Peggy's Observation:"The body they are talking about is the Body of Christ. The group of people. Our giftings set us apart as different body parts. I need to be content with my gifts. Doing them the best I can do to glorify God. I love to serve others and my family. Now it is hard. But I can show them how to serve. One of them might be a gifted server too. I can do little some days. But what I can do for others blesses me. But (most important) I need to listen to God and to STOP when it is necessary to. Obedience is the key.
Peggy's Prayer: "Lord I always want to be one who hears You and then obeys You. You know the right path and you will direct your way is the best way by FAR! I love you so much!"

Today in summary is a step in the right direction. The "evil wall" that I mentioned cracked a weakness early this am. There is alot of work that needs to be done to continue to expose the weakness and take this wall down. Please continue to pray for:

1. The spiritual environment surrounding Peggy is pure.
2. Her organs are protected, functioning and seeking and obtaining blood flow, nourishment and fluids.
3. The swelling came back a bit today. Pray that this trend continues to reverse.
4. Weakening of the cancer cellular structure...pound pound pound both spiritually and physically. (There was none of this junk in Eden...so we know who introduced it!)
5. Peggy and Larry have a strong level of hope and focus on God's ability to fully cure her. Allow them to be in an environment to allow them to focus on this.
6. Pray for the physical pain to be minimized for her to rest.
7. Pray that Peggy is calm.
8. Pray that the prayer force behind her expands.
9. Pray for her strength.(she felt weaker today)
10. Pray that the fog of decision making is cleared and they can hear the Lord's direction.

A. Praise God for the miracle of TODAY!
B. Praise Jesus for her ability to drink and swallow today
C. Praise God for the kids spirit..today was a better day

Fight the Good Fight. Thank you all.

Amazing Grace...How Sweet it is

Keep praying. This is clearly both a spiritual battle and a physical battle. I would have to say (and Peggy would agree) that we were defending on the 1 yard line last night up 3 points and less than 2 minutes to go in the game. (for those not into football...bottom line it did not look good).

I can say God drove them back last night. Here are a few things that happened:

• In seeing Peggy every few hours yesterday and through the evening, she was getting worse by the hour. Her system was not receiving fluids and pushing the fluids to her tissue. Clearly her eyes were swollen shut last night. Peggy was very uncomfortable...she fought and held out hope. Late last night Larry and Dennis were they bolstering the hope with focused prayer and appeals to the Lord Almighty. I was not sure she would make it through the night. I did not want to leave the hospital.
  
• I went back to their house to sleep and had a dream that Peggy's face was back to normal. Pat (our mom) had a dream last night Peg's swelling was down as well.
  
• Peggy was awake off and on last night. She felt her condition could not decline any further. It was clearly her worst period she has experienced. Peggy said to Larry at 4:30 am...this is the turning point, I think the Lord is turning things. She is reluctant to be too vocal about this.... so as to not send out "hyper" hope...but it is hope and we will take it.
  
• Larry described the spiritual battle as a wall that needs to start to break. Well.... we think there is a breach in this evil wall and the Lord Battalion of Angels see it. We are in attack mode. The breech in the wall was found by Peggy early this morning at 4:30 am.
  
• I arrived this morning at the hospital at 10:30 am. I told Peggy about my dream. As I am looking at her, it was so clear that her swelling was down. Larry, being so close to the situation thought he saw improvement. I told him and Peg clearly there is visible improvement. Her eyes and face swelling was down. She feels much better than yesterday.
• She had a sponge bath this am and she was nervous about being moved. Laura Fitts is on duty and helped with the bath. She is in such great care. She was moved and is doing great. She is resting now.
  

Please keep praying that the "evil wall" keeping life from Peggy continues to crumble and life abounds. There is absolutely no reason way this ill-formed cell mutation gets to win. Keep praying.

-strength for her system and that it continues to accept nourishment
-protection of her organs
-utter destruction of the cancer cells
-Protection of her spirit and Larry's and the kids
-Literal protection of a spiritually pure environment in and around Peggy.
- Opening of her throat to swallow food and water.
-Further reduction in swelling


1 Sam 12:16 - "Even now, take your stand and see this great thing that the Lord will do before your eyes."

Focusing on the Lord

We are waiting on the Lord, in full hope He will bring glory to Himself in healing Peggy. We all know His ways are not our ways and need to be ok with His plan no matter what direction it will take. We gathered around Peggy a few times today and layed hands on her and prayed. Peggy prayed that Jesus would move to heal her and yield all Glory to Him. Her prayer was strong and focused and declared that she feels this is not over. We ultimately want healing to occur. We all feel it would be an incredible healing and no one would be able to deny it was ALL God and no effort by man that healed her. We wait......

It was a tough day today. Peggy is weak and off-and-on in comfort. Here are a few prayer requests:

1. Peggy has alot of swelling around her face and upper body. She is having trouble swallowing. Please pray that this would open up so she can continue to nourish her body. She does have an appetite. However, swallowing is difficult.
2. She has been sitting in a semi-upright position for sometime now. She finds some discomfort at times. Pray for her comfort. Pray for her to be able to adjust and have growing strength to.
3. Her system is pushing fluids to her tissue in her upper body. Pray this reverses and that all her systems begins to accept fluids to strengthen and be poised for God's flushing miracle.
4. Peggy's faith and focus on the Lord, no real need here... she is sooooo focused, but pray that she maintains focus in the direction the Lord wants her. She is fully yielded to being an instrument for Him.
5. Pray for Larry. He is so focused, so balanced in his approach to this difficult situation. He is leveraging God's family around him to help with the kids and work through decisions. Pray for the Lord to lead him and negotiate through this tough time.
6. Pray for Lexi, Trinity and Josh. The kids have seen Mom today. They are processing in differing ways. They are surrounded by cousins and will be going to school tomorrow. They were there in our group prayers for Peggy and are seeing God move in this.

The Lord gave Peggy Galatians 6:9 "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we DON'T GIVE UP. (emphasis again from Peg). Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity we should do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith."

In our reflection with Peggy we observed that God can do it!...that whatever is in His plan (like of course, healing Peggy). We just need to continue to hold out hope of what God can and will do. Until God says, "It's Over" ... IT'S NOT OVER. As believers we need to look to one another to carry the baton of His way and His will. Irregardless of God's intended path, we need to hold on strong to His way for our lives specifically. You may not always understand God's will, but trust that He does and know that His plan is perfect and glorious.

Heavenly Father, may your peace be on us. While the cliffs are steep on either side, your path is solid and that is where our focus is. Thank you for your saving grace Jesus.

Ok prayers warriors...do your stuff...Thank you all for lifting Peggy up.

Fighting the Good Fight - 11/17/09

Hello Everyone,
I am Peggy's scribe...her brother Joe. She asked me to start updating the blog for her. Here is what is going on since last Saturday. As she said, she had a rough Saturday and had trouble breathing. She had good family time Sunday. Monday morning Peggy had difficulty breathing and Larry call the paramedics. She went to the hospital at appx. 7am on Monday. (Separate story but the Lord asked me (joe) to come up from San Diego Sunday night.) So I met Larry and Peg at the ER just after they arrived. She was put on an IV and oxygen. She arrived with swelling in her face and arms and some purple tones to her skin. She was and is weak and is getting normal skin tones back. Larry and Peggy are setting up Hospice care at home. They are working with her on pain meds. It is Peggy's preference to minimize pain meds. She desires to be alert and interacting with those around her. Peggy is planning to fight this until the Lord heals her. It is His call when it is done. She is very balanced between a full hope of the Lord's intervention in this and an intricate knowledge of what is going on in her body.

An example is when the paramedics came, Peggy sensed that they thought it was a "panic attack". So she said (I am paraphrasing) "Ok guys, I am a cancer patient, I have a tumor surrounding my superior vena cava (sp) and the constricted blood flow is impacting my ability to breath." I think she stumped these guys, but they did give her oxygen, checked her vitals and transported her.

On the personal side, my sister is a real strong person committed to being used in whatever way God wants to use her. She is talking to the nurses, doctors and anyone else new on scene to give them the Light that emminates through her from God. Her tone is great. The room she is in faces the west and there was an incredible sunset over the Ventura Coast. I could see Peggy's eyes getting comfort from the view. She was thanking the Lord for giving her this room.

When we were in the ER Peggy wanted to focus on 2nd Cor. 4: 15-18. " And as God's grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why WE NEVER GIVE UP (emphasis from Peg). Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed everyday........" We reflected on the verse with Peggy. "No point in giving up. You must seek completion. You need to get everything you can out of the journey you are on. Don't worry, don't look too far ahead, look at the path under your feet and count the journey a joy, TODAY! You cannot be bothered by the weight on you..... you need to embrace it. Don't seek the easy path, seek His way. Take the weight head-on, whatever it is and SEEK HIM!" In prayer Peggy said, "I trust you, Jesus!".

Crazy Day Friday-11/14/09

Hi All,

Thankfully Saturday has not been as crazy. Hoping all of you are having a wonderful weekend! I love this time of year. When the season changes, the holidays are upon us and family and friend events to look forward too.

Wed. I asked for prayer for breathing. Thurs. I noticed I felt weaker and things were hard again but I did another resting day. However, Friday I just was weaker than I had ever known. I have to admit it made me cry. I get bluesy now and again with feeling so weak. But really I don't stay there. I get over it. Thank you Jesus! But it is there. So, we get in to see Dr. Kerr. And he thinks it sounds like I have fluid in my left lung area again. Maybe both sides. So we discuss getting another Plueral Effusion. The tap thing I had in the hospital that took out over a liter of fluid from the left side. Bummed that this was happening. Knew I needed to go forward with it. So first I need and xray to even make sure. After talking to the Dr. at the xray place things looked different. He was able to compare the xray to the one in Oct. that looked good. He said there really isn't enough fluid worth tapping. Only like 2 tablespoons. And the right side looks the same as before. They never drained the right at the hospital. So really the look about the same level. Not sure what that was about. I was just happy not to get the tap. Who needs all that poking into anyway?? Because of radiation, things are taking sooooo long to heal. Thank- you Jesus!!!!!

So we went home and I was able to rest for a long while in the afternoon. My Mom, Aunt Diane, and cousin Sue all came out later of a quick visit. They had planned earlier but the day had taken a different course, of course! I even felt I slept a wee bit better last night. This morning I did feel improvement in energy. Not much, but not nearly what I had the day before. Maybe kind of like Thurs. This could all be related to dose reducing. Some days you are just completely exhausted and it's random. No way to plan around that. So I don't know if I will go to Church in the AM. We will see what God's wants me to do. But, I will not be discouraged if it's another rest day. I will just be obedient. I just want Him to fix me up all better!! If I keep going against Him, well, what's the point of that.

He continues to be my hope. strength and life!! I am loving each day He gives me. Even when they don't feel so good. My family has been a source of strength and faith boosting for me!

Today started out good, but has gotten more difficult for breathing as the day has gone on. I really haven't done too much. Talking was hard to do even. I will keep an eye on it of course. Just keep coming against all these side effects from, the steroid, the radiation, possibly the chemos too, the disease itself...etc...Let Dr. Jesus direct it! Pray has He leads! I really do not know what it going on inside of me. I know He does completely! And best of all He can fix it painlessly. He is using me this way for His purposes and I feel honered! I hope I can do Him justice even in those weepy moments. I know He understands all that too. He even cried! We have such a compassionate God! I love Him sooooo Much!!!

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you for all the prayers for the 5 of us! Our journeys are all unique. But they will all be powerful testimonies for Jesus and His Kingdom! I am confident of this!!

Love to all, Peggy

New Details-11/11/09

God Bless Our Veterans and the Sacrifice They Gave so We can Enjoy Freedom!!!!

Hi All,

Wouldn't feel right not giving a tribute to such a heroic group of people. I just thought it would be a good idea to share some recent stuff with my team of people reading and praying too. You all have been such a source of strength and encouragement to me this past month.

I have been home from the hospital for over 4 weeks now. And strange at it may seem...it has been some of the best days of my life. Go figure?? That is so not a normal way to think given the circumstances. But God so much has me in this wonderful place of more hope, more peace, more joy than I have had so far. Yes, hard days and times are there too. But all the joy, peace and hope remain. Even all the perks of visitors and blessings are just add ons. It's this God thing inside. I know God has been in this thing since the beginning. He has been guiding and directing. And I know that I just need to continue here to let Him finish what He has started! Each one of us has a different journey. It's a beautiful thing!

Ok some facty facts for those that may want them. Maybe it will help to guide some prayers for you have decided to be apart of the Jesus Medical Team. Nothing official of course. Just people who want to pray as needs arise. Right home from hospital I was put on this steroid called Dexemethasone (Generic for Decadron). It's a similar drug to Prednisone that is more commonly prescribed. I was started out at 16 mg. Anything over 15 is considered a massive dose.

Today I am at 12 mg. Tomorrow I dose reduce to 10 mg. Still considered a pretty high dose. The reason for the drug in the first place is to help reduce inflammation in the lungs due to radiation pneumonia. Having had so much chemo and radiation these past 3 years everything I take seems to have exaggerated reactions. My body has just been through a lot. Maybe that is why the muscle wasting has been more dramatic on me than others. I know a few people who have had to do predinisone. Muscles today still feel really tired. I do see some strengthening in muscles I have been working. But just no strength behind it. Not sure when I will see improvement here with the dose reducing.

However, the past two days I have noticed more labored breathing. This could be the steroid was doing a benefit to my lungs. I'm guessing of course. I prayed about it last night. I really strongly felt the Lord tell me to stay put today. And just don't go anywhere. I had planned on having my Mom drop me off and bible study to hang with my group for a bit. I was looking forward to it. But chose to be obedient and stayed home. I called Julie Ochoa who has done this drug for lung related issues. She said when that happens you just need to do nothing. You need to give your lungs time to adjust to the changes too. So she just backed up what God said. I was glad I was obedient.

So right now we need to be praying for the lungs to be healthy and whole. Not sure what havoc was reaked with the radiation. But God does. And He knows exactly what is I need to get it fixed. Dr. Kerr will help me when I need him. If the breathing thing is worse tomorrow I will call and see what he has to say. Maybe today's rest period I needed to do is going to be helpful in the big healing picture. I am trusting God completely! I'm not giving up! I'm just going to keep saying it!!!! Dr. Jesus is all I need!!

Well I hope that helps to answer a few questions people might have. And it gives you some good stuff to pray for too. I thank each and everyone of you. Each day has been an indescribable gift. I want each and everyday that God has for me! I love that you all are in this with me. It gives me more strength than you know!

Love, Joy, Peace and Hope to all!!!

Peggy

What a weekend-11-9-09

Hi All,

Hope all you had a fantastic weekend. Our was a bit jumbled. I wrote such a chipper upbeat blog on Saturday. After that I fell down again that night. Then twice more Sunday morning. I fell on carpet each time. So, thank-you God I did not get hurt! Just a bit wounded on the inside. But it all worked out. I was able to see Dr. Kerr and he said the muscle weakness and the facial swelling are due to the steroid. So he is putting me on a more rapid taper. I will dose reduce every 4 days instead of every two weeks. This drug literally shuts down your adrenal gland and acts as the hormone for it. So when you just stop the gland does not just start working on it's own. It has to learn again. Hence, the slow taper. Withdraw things can happen. It can mess your emotions, it can mess up your response time to stuff among other things. I don't want to investigate to far and start feeling things just because I read about them. So lets just pray against all the wicked side effects and withdraw things that could ever possibly happen. Sounds good to me.

I have a walker now. (Thank-You Dennis) And it is wonderful. I felt pretty wobbly this morning. But it gave me confidence to move around. I wonderful blessing from God once again came by today. Lisa McCarthy from my Church, a physical therapist, came by today and gave me some great tips on strengthening my muscles. She told me stuff I would have never even known. There are ways to do things safer and more accurately. Also I have to mention that the kids just blew me away this morning getting themselves ready and helping me get the morning going with breakfast, lunches, dishes...whatever. They were not even asked to help me more. And I didn't even get up early to make up for the "walker in the way" factor. Hard to carry bread and PB&J with a walker. But it all worked out. I know, I'm doing too much. It's hard not to love my family though!

Thanks for all the countless prayers! Our God is so awesome and so mighty and I am so aware of that. So much more than any other time of my life.! I love you all!!

Peggy

A Good Saturday-11-7-09

Dear Wonderful yous!!

Hope everyone had a really good Saturday. We had a low key great time as a family. It was perfect! Larry got an early morning start with Sandy's fiance Keith surfing. He is learning the ropes are really loving it. I think it's a great out let for him. Thanks Keith!! We did well get up and getting breakfast. We are trying to go out and walk more to strengthen my muscles and made it all the way to the park today. Hooray!! I even made a seasonal favorite carmel corn. We ate all the stuff already that Ann made on her visit.

I do have to tell you though, this muscle weakness has been a burden. I even fell to the ground for the first time today. Just did a little stumble and couldn't catch myself. No injury, just bummed it happened. Anyways, I was talking to my friend Judie Swankosky on the phone the other day. She has been battling right along side me this 3 1/2 years for me 4 1/2 for her at Dr. Rigbergs too. We go to the same Church too. She has dealt with the muscle weakness in the legs at various points of her treatments. So ya-da ya-da...yesterday her daughter Janice shows up at my house with this huge looking p0tty donut thingy for the toilet seat. I'm thinking...No Way! But I had talked to her about thinking about putting a grab bar in bathroom. That is the first place I noticed the weakness. Standing up from the toilet was hard right away.

So me and Janice chit chat and I tell her I'm in denial about the toilet seat thingy and I don't need that. But somehow she gets on this quite time she had with the Lord in Hebrews the other day. She knew it was for someone else but didn't know at the time who. Like she thought she would be bringing a potty chair to someone. I really don't even remember the bible part, but the point of the message was clear. This is temporary. This will get better. Things are not always going to be like this. It was so clear. It's like so many things that I am struggling with right now are steroid related. And I am tapering the dose. Things will improve. Meanwhile God is healing me! You guys are fighting an amazing war with me and I am feeling victory after victory! How can I deny it. She is right. It is temporary, Janice is right. The seat literally just pops on and off the toilet. It's so no big deal and it really helps. I will exercise my legs elsewhere. God uses the stranges things to communicate to us, don't you think??

So really the prayer request I have is to gain strength. And to know how to pace it too. Oh yeah, just remembered a night time difficulty. My knees have gotten sooo sore in the middle of the night. Too pained to sleep. So I get up and take the vioden. It helps to help me go back to sleep. One night it didn't help. But my little army here at home prayed before school and the pain went away as I walked around on them. Not sure what is up with that one. But thanks for all the prayers! It blesses me so much. Looking forward to going to Church with the family in the morning. I hope you all have a way blessed Sunday.!

I love to all I know and don't know. You all mean the world to me! Blessings galore!!

Peggy

Answered Prayer-11/5/09

Hi All,

Yes, Jesus you can get it done with the power of praying people! He never ceases to amaze me. Those weird headaches and tender spots keep trying and you guys keep shooting them down! Go Jesus! Yesterday only a little pain-always the left side-today nothing at all! The chest thing-left side too, the one I had drained-was way less. Today not even noticeable until now. Only slightly. Another really cool thing the Lord reminded me of...I'm realizing my great thoughts are really God giving them to me...is way back when I was at Premiere Oncology telling the Dr.'s about a numbing tingling feeling I would get in my arm that was on top of me when I sleep. Not the one crushed below. I would move slightly and things would normalize. With all the tumors around the heart it was just probably something from that I guess. They never would say...they would just write down a lot of stuff. Anyhow...that has not happened in ages. Things must be changing in there. To God be the glory!!

Today did prove to be challenging. I think I got so excited yesterday to do little exercises that I really wore myself out. It really is little, but compared to what I have been doing it must have been big because my engery was pretty low. The muscles were not as heavy feeling though. I just do things like lift my leg ten times on each leg. Or raise up my arm are few reps. More exaggerted steps instead of shuffling like my body wants to. Simply just more movement. It's so easy just not to move when you feel like this. But, that's not a good thing. I really need to know what is the happy medium. I also know that one of my main love languages is "Acts of Service". That is how I show love to my family. To not do...is so hard for me. To do is so hard too! When I realize I can't do something I get frustrated and grumpy. And everyone knows "When Momma Ain't happy, Ain't nobody happy." I just can't do it all right now. It's hard to admit. It's so humbling. It's a main way I show love to my family. But I need to surrender to more help. I'm the worst at asking. Thank you Jesus for just filling the gaps. So many people help. I am so grateful. You people know who you are. Thank you from the bottom and top and all our hearts here at the Wolf household. God's family is amazing me daily. We are so blessed.

Tomorrow we get to see Lexie receive a class award to be peacebuilder of the month. She was recognized for her quality of "Responsibility" in her classroom. She is such an awesome kid and we are so proud of her. She has been a rock of faith through this whole thing. She gives me faith! I can hardly believe Jr. High awaits her only next year. Yikes!!

Thanks for all the prayers my Jesus Medical Team and the Band of Warriors! Pray as the Lord leads! I can only give external syptoms that arise. He so totally knows it all. And the inner workings of each and every member of this family. Please cover Larry, Lexie, Trinity and Joshua too! They fight with me on the front lines daily. It is so very precious! God has blessed me with the best family I could have ever wanted!

Love to all of you dearest ones!!

Peggy

To Stent or not to Stent-11/3/09

Hello Again,

Oh the Lord is so good to me! We take time to pray and He really does direct our paths! Just trying to listen to His words and obey His voice and not my own. Hoping all of you are able to do the same in each and every decision He puts before you daily. He wants you to have the best life possible! A life that delights in Him!! I'm just so full of Love for my Jesus!!

So about the appointment with Dr. Rigberg yesterday. We made the appointment because we felt the Superior Vena Cava might be having more problems. The swelling in my face & rapid heart rate I guess are the two main reasons. Whatever the reason, the Lord had me make this appointment with Dr. Rigberg himself. Now I am thinking it had little to do with the stent at all. The Lord just knows how you to get where He wants you to be.

Dr. Rigberg was confused that I wanted this procedure now. He wondered if I changed my mind about being treated again. I said no, then how I felt real peace about being on all God now. He is Jewish but understands my Christian viewpoint...kind of. He really did not make a recommendation one way or another to do the stent. He is willing to call the Dr. to set up the procedure if I want to, but did not think it would bring the relief I might expect. He seemed to lean toward the fact that the swelling was more from the steroid. I thought that since I was on another steroid other than Prednisone that the swelling wasn't an issue. Not so! He said all these steroids did the same thing. That explains the muscle weakness too. You never know what complications could arise anyways from a surgical procedure. I have also noticed little scratches taking a long time to heal. Having an incision or two could be difficult now. Not really sure.

Dr. Rigberg has always been more of a facts on the table kind of guy. So we get info. that we can simply put before the Lord and pray about. We found out that the fluid drained at the hospital did show malignancy. Reports show I have tumors in the lungs and diaphram areas. Hospital reports show the lesions on the skull that he wanted to do radiation on. However, we have been praying and things have been happening. I am not being scanned right now. So in his mind as an oncologist...things have progressed. I having pains that disappear because a team of people prayed think things have regressed. Dr. Rigberg thought I would go home with oxygen. I haven't needed that at all. Stuff like that. All these areas of concern are prayer targets for you my Jesus Medical Team and I put you on it with all assurance that we can accomplish great things in Jesus mighty name!!

So last night I was awake for a long while and talking to God about it all. Should I get the stent, should I not. Just wasn't feeling I should anymore. Then I felt like he said "go!" What...go?? I said "Lord when you say "go" do you me go get the stent because that leaves me with no peace right now?" So I waited...then I sensed He said "go to Rigbergs". I got the idea from God awhile ago to see if Dr. Rigbergs office would flush my port once a month while I have it. It is a low maintainance item in my chest used to get a vein easy. Now that I am not being treated I can have it removed. But why unless it needs to be. Who know when I might need it. So I need to be responsible to keep track of the month going by. They were happy to have me come in once a month to do this. What a great way they can see the marvelous thing the Lord is going to do. I think God wants Dr. Rigberg on his side. He is a brilliant man and they are the hardest nut to crack sometimes.

At any rate, I'm not feeling like I need to stent right away anymore. Maybe all those tumors are lessening anyways. I can only rely on God to scan me now. Now might be a great time to share Dennis Stevenson vision God gave him from me around my hospital time 3 weeks ago. It was a simple outline of my body with the places where the tumors exist. And each time I urinated bits of the tumor washed out of me. And I kid you not...each morning since then I wake up with cloudy urine. Sorry if this is too gross for some. But I get excited. Only God knows what is going on inside me.

Hope this helps you guys feel up to date on whats up with us. I have a book I borrowed about prednisone and pulled it out today to read more about it since it is similar to the steroid I am taking. Great drug...hard side effects, slow taper is important. I just might need to be patient. I'm going to try working my muscles a little harder even though they feel so week. I'm happy to be a Mom and Wife. I can't just sit...it's not allowed. They would let me...don't get me wrong. But it might not be the best idea. I will need the Lords help to pace myself there.

Thanks for all the prayers and love. It has been truly overwhelming and received whole heartedly!! May the Lord richly bless every prayer right back at you!!

I love you all, Peggy

P.S. Physical need just noticed today. Slight pain in my left middle chest area and slight headache in the back of my head. Not sure if something is try to gain ground. Lets shoot it down! :)

The Stent-11/2/09

Hi All,

Thank you all so much for praying for me over the weekend. We had a great time together as a family. Went to Church yesterday. It's always great to be there. Then went to lunch at the Stevenson to be with his parents on last meal before they head back to AZ. Then the Ramos's blessed us with dinner and their presence! She even filled my cupboards with grocery's. We are so blessed. Blessed but tired for sure!

As for my physical state...my face continues to remain puffy. My weakness level seems to increase. Now I am not sure if it is related to the blood flow or something else. It could be the steroid I am tapering still. Not sure. I'm running it by my dr. See what he says. At any rate, we have decided to proceed with getting the stent put in the Superior Vena Cava area for real this time. Last time there were complications due to the port and radiation. Now I can have the port pulled and not need to replace it since I am not being treated any longer. And It will have been 4 weeks since the last radation this Wed. That was the instruction from Dr. Lum the radiologist any about any surgeries. The proceed would be very minor, so they say. I don't think it will even involve an over night stay. God is in control of that.

I do feel a peace about it. I was able to really focus on God about that last night. I don't feel like it is caving in or giving up by any means. I feel like he wants to bring more Dr.'s and such into the miracle that is coming. He loves to amaze and confound Dr.'s. When I talked with a nurse today at Dr. Rigbergs she said my voice suprised her like I was someone with good news. I just want them all the know I am so far from giving up hope. They might not get all this God in me stuff. But I love having opportunites to show them. Every day is such a precious gift.

I will do my best to keep you all posted.

Love to all, Peggy

Quick Weekend Update-11/1/09

Dear Friends and Family,

I have a little time this morning before Church so I thought I would just let whoever may be curious how the weekend is playing out. I appreciate all the prayer so much! God is so good!!

Friday Larry and I did a date night out for the first time since being home from the hospital. That was 3 weeks ago already. We went to the mall and changed my phone carry to match his and now I can text unlimited. So that will be a great tool for me to communicate prayer requests quickly.

Yesterday we all actually went to the pumpkin patch and got pumpkins. We brought them home and carved them. Later had so more visitors from out of town. And the kids went trick or treating with the Rock family here in our neighborhood. Kim who is greatly pregnant stayed with me at the house. We took turns getting the door to pass out candy. It was perfect! We had a great day as a family.

The swelling in my face is definitely not worse. However, I did feel some weird pressing Sat. morning in my throat area. So we gathered the family and they layed hands on and we prayed. Things have eased there for sure! Thank you Jesus!! I am surrounded by warriors of the best kind! All to say I do not feel worse. Pressing forward is still necessary. I feel good. But the face does look puffy today. I am going to Church!! I love that place...those people. This love thing is just exploding in me! Only Jesus can do this! Side note...my knees were hurting around 3 am last night. So I got up and took another viodin. That helped! Maybe too much activity Sat?? I'm just so blessed to be able to get up and down! Thank you Jesus!!

Thanks for all the prayers! I love you all!!


Peggy

Keep Praying!!-10/30/09

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope this Friday is proving to be a blessing for all!! I just wanted to do a quick update on yesterdays request and let you know to keep praying!!

I think we need to concentrate the prayer to the Superior Vena Cava. It needs to be open so the blood flow to the heart can normalize. This is possibly the reason for the swollen face and neck. And also the increase in my heart rate. I do not feel worse today and slept pretty comfortaby last night. I still wake up for long stretches but they have been great talks with God moments that have really filled me up!

I did call Dr. Kerr's office this morning to run things by a nurse who could run things by him. But he was out sick. And I do not even know the other Dr. He just got a new associate. I haven't met him yet. How complicated to start at the beginning with him. So I didn't. I talked to a nurse that I know was a believer and actually goes to church with the Kerr's. So that helped. Bascially we are going to watch things over the weekend. If things get worse I don't have to be the hero I can call the Dr. or I can go to the ER. But really I feel this is God giving us an opportunity for more time to work this problem away completely through prayer. The fact that things are not worse strengthens me to keep pressing forward with the prayers!!

Thank you all for this! I feel excited with what He is doing! We are all in this together!!

I love you all!!

Peggy

Needing some prayer-10/29/09

Hi Friends and Family,

Don't have long to say all I want to say right now. So I will just get to the prayer requests. I am needing my Jesus Medical Team and Band of Warriors to get some stuff accomplished. I don't want to seem to be speaking "negative talk" but how else will all of you know how to pray unless I really lay out the land in front of us. Any good general in a war needs accurate details. So you guys just go do what you do best and intercede!!!

I had another tender spot show up on my head the last two days. But today it is gone. However we were also praying about the puffy face that was there too. The puffiness is still there and a bit increase this morning. My neck feels tight too. Also my heart rate is up. These are all things on the Superior Vena Cava syndrome list. This is when the tumor surround the vein and entrap it. These tumors need to shrink!!! Jesus can do it! I can still talk to the doctor about having the stent put in that spot. Not sure Jesus wants me to do it. I'm checking with Him on that one.

Also, I am just not regaining strength in my legs. The steroid I am taking for my lungs may be contributing to this weakness. So the Dr. has me tapering that dose and that takes a while. It's a very slow taper.

Please be praying for these things specifically. I want Jesus to do it all! I know He can! I know He is able! He is the author and perfector of my faith. I would never push myself this hard to have more faith! But my loving Father would! He wants us all to be all that we can be in Him! Jesus is the Best and I Love Him more than ever!!

Thanks all!! Love you!! Peggy

Dr. appt. update-10/27/09

Dear Family and Friends,

I'm not really used to blogging everyday. But today I thought I would let you know how our appointment went with Dr. Kerr.

After all the weird stuff over the weekend with the pain and the swelling in my face. I wasn't really sure what to expect from him. This morning my swelling did seem a bit more. My breathing did seem more shallow too. But the pain continues to be low to nearly gone. I did however snore a lot last night...apparently. Any position I laid in...I'd even woke myself up. Anyways, we'll get to that later.

I let Dr. Kerr know of all the happenings of the weekend. He read the report from the X-ray on Thursday. All looked to have improved in the areas we were checking. The fluid appeared all but gone. Even the radiation pneumonia stuff looked better. Going in I was thinking I might need to have my lung area tapped again today. Since I was not able to take in a very big breath this morning. But when he listed to my lungs he heard air flowing all the way to the bottom of both sides of my lung. No fluid still!!! Thank you Jesus!!! Just think that other Dr. at the hospital wouldn't even tap me because he said "what's the use...it will just fill right back up." Thank God Dr. Kerr did find the right guy who would do the job!

We are thinking the breathing and the snoring could be related to effects from radiation on my esophaugas. You have to go through the healthy stuff to get to the bad stuff. The outside skin was so burnt I can only imagine what the inside more tender tissue must have endured. The effects on my body this time were so much more intense because of all the chemo drugs I have had in the past. Even the techs were surprised by the burns. The burns on the outside are looking great. I have been putting burn cream on them 3 times a day. But I have not been doing anything for the inside. Out of sight, out of mind I guess. I even have medicine to swallow 4 times a day to help. Also Dr. Kerr gave me an inhaler to help when breathing becomes difficult. I will re-pick up this regimine and see how that helps. Also my legs muscles have been so weak. Even with moving around more. He is thinking it is the steroid. Since things are clearing up in the lungs. We will start the tapering dose on that right away. That drug will give you muscle weakness. I will just reduce to 1/2 a pill less for 2 weeks. 4 times until I stop all together.

He was overall really happy to see how God is a work! We left the appointment feeling great! Be praying we can get the breathing, swelling and strengthenging resolved! God is at work and there is no stopping Him now! Thank you all for being such faithful friends. I told Dr. Kerr that you are my Jesus Medical Team! Kim's guys are my Band of Warriors!! (B.O.W.) Is that awesome or what?? You guys just get it done and get it done qucik! I love you all so much!!

Honored and Excited,


Peggy

It's a New Day!!-10/25

Hi Friends and Family,

Wow, what a difference a day & lots of prayer makes! My Jesus Medical Team and Band of Warriors are phenomenal!

Yesterday, I just took more pain meds to stay comfortable. At night I just doubled my dose of Vicodin and planned on getting up to get more meds when the pain woke me up. Well, the pain never did come back. And I needed to use the restroom twice last night. So consequently the swelling was down in my face today. I guess God wanted me to go to Church. I wanted to be there too. I even sat in the front row with Larry (my usual seat). I have been in the back when I have been there mostly this past month. It felt good to be there today and it felt great to feel better.

The pain was not gone this morning. But much much less. I go in the morning to see Dr. Kerr who is over my care right now. I will run all these events by him. I did have my chest x-ray on Thurs. and this pain appeared Fri. night. So I don't know if things are even the same as the Thurs X-ray. He'll let me know what he wants me to do.

Just wanted to thank everyone for the prayers!! And so much to Thank Jesus for His awesome healing touch! I love Him so much!!

Blessings to all, Peggy

And so the ride continues-10/24/09

Dear Friends and Family,

God told me that the ride would continue, so I am hanging on!! I'm needing prayer for some physical things that presented themselves last night.

I did forget my steroid last night that is helping with the radiation pneumonia swelling. Could be part of this. It's a guessing game. But God knows exactly what is up and He is in control!! Around 3:30 am Josh woke up with a bad dream and join us in bed. So then I noticed my left lung area was uncomfortable and decided since I was all awake to just get up and take another pain med. It really did nothing at all. The pain just continued. I have not had much pain through this whole thing. So I really don't take that much stuff for it. Just enough to help me relax to get good sleep. I do have more stuff and stronger stuff on hand if needed. I just want to know what is really necessary especially with God on the job!!

I also noticed my face was more swollen this morning and my rings were tighter. That could be a Superior Vena Cava syndrome complication. Again, God knows exactly what is going on around that vein. My breathing is feeling fine. I do need to mention another good improvement thing that happened this week. I was having a hard time getting burps out. It made my stomach feel full and my appetite supressed. Then early in the week one morning. Things just went back to normal in the burping department. So now you all can be happy when you burp and know it's all a good part of a healthy system. I so thankful!

I have been feeling lots of improvement so I know that I have been doing more than I should. This could be God telling me to pace myself a little better. I love my family and love to take care of them. It's a joy to me! But right now I need to let them keep doing what they are doing and taking care of me and letting me just help in ways that are reasonable. I have such a great family! I love them all so much!! So today will involve more just sitting. My legs got so weak with all this. I just think I need to move them more. But, again there is that happy medium.

Thanks for praying. It's weird writing about so many physical things with my body. But I really feel this is how the Lord wants me to handle things now. Thanks for being apart of this with me and my family. I do not feel afraid. Just uncomfortable. Already my back is starting to ease up! Praise Jesus!!!

Oh yes, while I am thinking of it. Pray for Joshua too. He was really weepy yesterday and even at school. Just sensitive about whatever...nothing imparticular. He has been mentioning about being scared our house is going to burn down a lot lately. Not sure what sparked that one. But he's been on that one for a couple weeks. Thanks friends!

I love you all so much!! Thank you Jesus...Thank you too!!


Peggy

Seeing Improvements!-10/21/09

Dear Friends and Family,

Hope all is going well for all of you in this wonderful Fall season! I've always enjoyed this time of year and this year is no different!

Boy did I ever have a busy weekend that just doesn't see to end. I have had so many visitors it has been one big love fest! I have enjoyed every ounce of it. Yes, I was tired, overwhelmed, exhausted but, it was so nice. I had visits from old Gospel Light friends, My very first friend ever,Donna (the dead duck-I was Peggy Piglet) and her daughter Madi, Ann flew in from IL, Jodi flew in from IL, Jamie drove down from Selma, Saw Molly, and Chrisie and her folks. Yesterday and today I had visitors from the neighborhood I grew up in. It's been great! It's been fun sharing the peace I have with where God has me right now! Remembering fun times past is so priceless too! We laughed so much!

After having such a serious talk with the Doctors about how basically they really don't have much more to offer me to help, I'm sure people are all not sure what disposition I will be when the get here. But when friends leave we are all smiles! It is really incredible where God has me. It's hard to put into words exactly but I will try.

Like any journey God takes you on it's all individual and very personal between you and God. He knows what He needs to allow you to go through to get you where He needs you to be. Often for things you have been actually been praying for. We want to be closer to Him. We want to have strong faith. We want to honor Him in all our ways. etc... For me, the day I was diagnoised I was unable to mentally or otherwise be where I am today. I feel such a weight lifted from me. I feel unspeakable peace. I have a confidence in God like no other time in my life. I know He has been so present in every step of this journey. And as the saying goes...I know He carried Larry and I through many of those moments.

Now if symptoms arise they will most likely offer me something to help it. (i.e. pain killers). Since I am not going to be treated anymore they will not be scanning me to see what the problem is. So I will be going to you friends and family who have been the awesome army of God on my behalf to fight any sympton that might arise. Already I have had two more sore spots on the left side of my head show up. Larry had Kim B's band of warriors pray. One day one was gone today the other is gone. Wow-that was faster than radiation!! I really felt like God said this to me the other day. "Maintain Steadfast Faith!" "I am able" "I am willing" "hold on-the ride will continue" "you can do it" "you are able". OK Lord!!:)

I have this excitement inside me at what He is doing, going to do and going to do so so so much more beyond me and this cancer. I feel like a tiny little piece of something really great. I feel so honored to be here. There is really no point in giving up in any way when we have all fought this so hard for so long. The battle is in no way over. It's all God! Jamie said it on her visit! "When God is all you have, you realize He is all you need"!!! I've quoted it over and over since then. Thank you all for standing with us in this battle for healing! God is able and God is willing!! And I want it!!

I will try to update best I can. I will be as honest as I can. I want you to know how to pray us all through the journey. The family is doing remarkable. We are all adjusting and sorting out new duties. But, everyone is rallying together.

Also I went to Church last Sunday. It was just so great to be with my Church family that I love so much. If anyone knows me, they know I am a people person. It so filled up my cup to just be there. I hardly talked to everyone I wanted to. But got to see and smile at so many people I love so much!!

I love you all more than I can express!! Thank-you entirely from the whole Wolf family!!!

Peggy

Hope Sweet Hope-10/16/09

Dear Family and Friends,

I have been so blown away by all the love and support my family and I have been receiving. It's immeasurable. The help, the encouragement, the gifts and all that love. It's hard to contain. I feel like a love and blessing glutton right now. But the Lord said to take it all in!! So thank-you one and all!! The heartfelt prayers from those so far away are so very appreciated and felt too!!

Here at home we are all still adjusting to what I can and can not do. Some days are better than others. But for the most part I have been seeing improvement! Praise Jesus!! The spot on my head that hurt, no longer hurts! The swelling in my arms went down two days ago. I have my old arms back!! I'm sleeping better! Just doing more things in general.

Went to Dr. Kerr yesterday and had a positive appointment. He mostly encouraged us to keep thinking positive. It's hard not to when I have such an enormous amount of peace right now. I'm so thankful to God for this! He gave me some RX's and samples for breathing stuff and nausea. I will get a chest X-ray next week to see how the lung is doing. He was encouraged to know that it was not filled up again already. Sometimes that happens in just days.

I'm keeping my focus on Jesus and it's a hard place to get to. Things distract so often like when Peter was on the water with Jesus in Matt. 14. It's when he took his eyes of Him when he began to sink and fear. The waves are going to come we just have to keep our focus. Whatever the trial is. We don't have to pretend they don't exist. We just have to keep our focus on Jesus. I still have to work at this daily. But God is so good!

Please keep my family in your prayers too. We are all doing great. I'm so blessed. But so much has changed and roles have changed. Expectations on the kids have changed. Larry's role has been doubled. Ask the Lord to guide and direct us all in the transition time.

Thanks so much and Love to All!!

Peggy

Home from the Hospital-10/10

Dear Friends and Family,

What a crazy bunch of days it's been this week. I went to a schedule follow-up appointment for the stent that never was placed with Dr. Rigberg on Tues. I had been having building difficulty with breathing and a new sore spot on the top of my head that day. We talked about a bunch of stuff and the fact that I took the week off radiation even though I only had 3 more to go. I was just feeling so horrible even with a 4 day break from it all. My heart rate was up over 130 beats a minute that day too. He was concerned about all of this so he call my family Dr.Kerr to discuss it all while we waited. He came back and said Dr. Kerr wanted us to go straight to his office to be evaluated and most likely admitted to the hospital. So he saw me and wrote up all the orders to be admitted and have all the different test done to see what was causing all of this.

So we go straight to Community Memorial Hospital in Ventura. Then I start having all kinds of test run. Oh but first our nurse friend Laura Fitts that works at CMH came and help ease nerves and get us settled and even made sure we had a great room with a beautiful view that was private. That was such a awesome blessing!

It turned out that my left lung or rather the area between the ribcage and the lung was filled with quite a bit of fluid. It was making it difficult to take it a full breath. Wed. afternoon they were able to give me a Thorantenthesis. I have no idea if I spelled that word right. But basically it means they thread a tube in my lung from my back and drain out the fluid. The procedure was really not to big of a deal. The relief was gradual as the lung took its time being able to reinflate all the way. I could by that evening get up and walk to the restroom and back without getting totally winded.

Later Wed. evening Dr. Kerr came in to review the test from that day and see how my breathing was and to have a serious talk with us. He told us in spite of the radiation I have been receiving the tumors around my heart area have grown. Also the new spot on my head is a possible new area of concern that could be treated with radiation. The fluid in my lung area could have been cause by the radiation or area tumors. It could fill up again. He began to discuss getting a DNR on my records. My chest is in a condition that it really couldn't take being resuscitated. And if they bring me back, then what? We have tried everything man has to offer already. So we tearfully agreed to that.

I have in the past few weeks been sensing from the Lord that this discussion was coming. So I was able to tell the Doctor that I was ready to be done with all radiation and chemo. It just is not offering enough hope or help and adding so many unpleasant side effects. He was ready to help us down this road. Dr. Kerr is just a beautiful Christian man. I communicated to him that I really feel like the Lord is telling me to just lay it all at the foot of the cross. Larry and I felt a tremendous peace about this decision. We were able the next morning to talk to a palleative care team. A team that helps with all the confusing stuff that goes on during this phase of any difficult illness. So much to be educated on right now. We are getting our living trust finished. And in no way at all are we throwing in the towel. Just like a soldier going off to war we want things in order since we do not know what it going to happen. We are still full on contending for a miracle from our Lord Jesus!!

Then next hours of the day were filled with talking to the kids, which was hard but they did really well. Lots of tears and hugs. Talking to many family and friend groups that could help get the word out. We are asking the Lord for a miracle on many battle fronts. There was a steady stream of support from family and close friends all day Thurs. We laughed we cried and I sat there not even feeling very sick. It's all so very surreal. God has spared me from pain in the process so far. I have had some but from what my cancer nurse friend tells me is that I am doing remarkable. People with less cancer have so many more discomforts. I attribute this to all the prayer and our Loving God!!

Larry brought me home last night. We had a quite evening together while the kids had a cousin night at Grandma and Grandpa Haeusslers. It was good for me to see where I at with myself and getting around since I have just been sitting in a bed for the last 4 days. I wish I could do more but I seem so limited. I walk from my room to the living room and feel winded. Not sure if my lung area is filling again or not. I have an appointment set to see Dr. Kerr next Thurs. We can discuss getting the stent now that radiation is out of the picture. That removes a complication. If my lung area needs draining I can look into that too. My future is in God's most capable hands.

I also feel the need to mention that I really sense the Lord telling me not to worry about the whole nutritional avenue. I know He talks to others about that, but for me. He wants me to focus on Him and not all that. It has been 3 1/2 years of lots of advice and many times info. that conflicts and complicates. He doesn't want me to get caught up in all that. He told me His word will direct me. We have never been reckless eaters. He wants to heal me where I am at.

All in all we ask you to please not give up and to keep praying with us. People have asked how to help. Aimee Nozzi is setting up meals for us. Lauri Stevensen is often up on our current needs and a good person to check with. Some very precious dear friends have set up a fund that is currently helping us out with the financial end of this trial. The fund is called "Friends of PeggyWolf" and is at the Santa Barbara Bank and Trust. We do not know who has given or how much they have given. But thank you all so much from the bottom of our hearts. Larry and I just weep when we see the kindness and the love coming at us. It is truly overwhelming.

Thank you dear friends and family we love you all so very much!!

Peggy

A fun yet difficult weekend-10/5/09

Hello to all,

It's been such a crazy few days it's hard to know where to start. I ended up not having radiation on Thurs. because their machine broke down. And I took Fri. off so the family could go out of town and use up our last day at Disneyland. I was completely unsure how this would go because I have been having such a hard time lately. But we did it somehow!!

We left Thurs. after the kids got out of school and went to the Embassy Suites. This place serves a great breakfast and this way this was one less thing to have to worry about. It worked out great. Andy and Jill Ortega met us down there and we all had a good dinner together at Buca di Beppo. We head to bed early and got up to go to Disneyland as close to opening time as possible. It opens at 8 am. Somehow we didn't make it in the park until 9:30. The weather was perfect and the crowds were perfect. Everything was just right. We rented a wheelchair for me. And it was so very necessary. I couldn't walk too far without huffing and puffing and coughing. I went on some rides and sat out on some too. Everyone had a great time. I don't know how we would have managed without Andy and Jill. It was so great to spend the day with them having fun!! We left the park for a few hours to get food and change into night time clothes and rest a little. When we came back it was as if the crowd easily doubled. It was crazy crowded. As it turned out the Adventure park closed at 6pm and everyone came to Disneyland. We just had a few things left to do anyway. And everyone was getting pretty tired. We all slept real good that night.

We took our time the next morning and headed out with a late check out so the kids could swim. It was over all a really good family time together with friends. However, the next day I felt pretty worked over. I did not go to Church and had help with the kids all day. Thank you Lord for family close by. Larry had work responsibilitites all day. I have been having a hard time with nausea, vomiting, coughing, labored breathing and low energy. I do pretty good if I just sit and do nothing. But that is just rediculous. I get up and then start coughing and all and then end up sitting again. It's a vicious cycle.

Today I woke up thinking how on earth am I going to handle 3 more days of radiation. Just three more sounds so doable. But today it sounded like the biggest mountain ever. I talked things over with Dr. Lum on the phone before my appointment and he decided to give me a week off. He said to call at the end of the week and we will decide what to do next. It's a relief to me not to have to go but also a drag to drag this whole thing out some more. I am not sure if I feel bad because of the accumulation of radiation effects or if there other tumors growing. So, with the break we will see if I feel better with the break or not. I also have a sore spot on the top of my head that feels like a bruise, yet I never hurt my head. Not sure what is up with that.

Meanwhile we have lots of people helping and praying. God is in our midst. He is in this battle. Thank you for joining us in this effort. Please pray as the Lord leads you!

Love and Gods Blessings to all!! Peggy

Day after procedure-9/26/09

Hi Friends,

Well I made it through the procedure just fine. Different outcome than I thought. But, it's all done and I am home. We had to wait forever it felt like. The procedure before me was more complicated than expected and I literally sat in pre-op for an extra 3 hours. I was fine though. I was not really nervous at all. Thanks for so many many prayers. I was so blown away by all the prayers that went around for me. I have got to know that all happened as the Lord intended.

When they were finally ready to get started he explained to me that he was going in from my neck with a camera down to the problem area. That way he could get an actual look at how things are right now. This is a much better look than the CT scan that they were going off of before. He saw that the vein was not as blocked as he thought it might have been. He thought it may have been as bad as 95%. He said it was only 70% and that there was good blood flow. From here he went ahead and opened up the vein with a balloon a few times. That was very uncomfortable. I was only on a synthetic morphine. I just felt a bit woozy. He needed me to hold my breath a couple times for a few pictures of the area. Maybe that is why they needed me awake? Overall I was pretty calm through the whole event. I was then taken to post-op and had to stay there for about 4 hours. They did feed me so that was nice. I literally left the hospital with a band-aid on my neck. Not bad huh?!!

I was a little shook up about some of the paperwork that was sent with me to bring to the doctors. It had info. on it about my recent scan and the findings. It talked about something on the top of my stomach and my lung which the doctors have not really discussed with me. But being unable to really understand all the doc-talk it's easy to get upset about things that might not warrant that. I have been having a lot of nausea and vomiting today so of course I think things are crazy with whatever the letter talked about my stomach about. I had to call my Dr. to get something called in to help me. I guess good nausea drugs are expensive and insurance companies are stingy. The one that works for me is only approved for me to have 9 every 28 days. I have nausea daily...so you do the math. When Dr. Kerr called me back I told he that I read something that I may have not been meant to read and it was upsetting. Without my file in front of him he had to rely on memory of the lastest reports, I was just in to see him last Tues. He remembered reading something about my diaphram and it being small. More of a point to keep an eye on rather than a problem. Sometimes things show up that are related to past surgeries or scarring. But they watch it and not always tell the patient. They don't want you to give up. Dr. Kerr is a Christian and it was good to talk to him today. He was able to calm me medically and spiritually. It all boils down to the fact that "If God is in the picture, there is always hope!".

I will continue to do my radiation and that should be all finished up about Oct. 6th. I had a few more days to do than I realized. And the machine broke once last week and I am taking next Fri off to somehow do our last Disneyland day before the tickets expires. Just being together as a family and having fun will be worth it. I might need them to wheel me around, but we will see. Right now we will just keep taking it all step by step and praying for the Lord to turn this all around. I have had enough of things going the wrong direction!

Love to all!!

Peggy

PS I thank the Lord for all of you often!

Date set for Stent-9/23/09

Hi All,

Just trying to stay indoors today as much as possible. The smoky smell from the fillmore fire is bothersome. Last thing I need right now is breathing issues! Hope everyone is safe from it all. Looks like we still have some hot dry days ahead.

Last Tues. I was at all 3 dr. offices. 2 docs thought I should have the stent put in right away and one thought I should wait for radiation to be done. So they all talked to each other and I got a call today and found out that I will have the stent put in my Superior Vena Cava on Fri. am. I need to arrive at 8 am for a 10 am procedure. It should be an outpatient thing. They go in through the groin and thread it up from there. They only need to put me out with a twilight sleep. I should be able to go home a couple hours later.

I am praying that I will have relief right away when I come out of it. I get winded real easy just walking around the house right now. I have had a fair amount of coughing and vomiting. I'm not sure if that will change. But at least the breathing and general circulation will be better. Dr. said I won't get worn out as easy.

Please pray that there will be not complications whatsoever. I have a port line that is in the way and the Dr. will first try to move the line out of the way then stent the vein then replace the line. However, if it is just not possible the port will have to be surgically removed, then the stent put in and then surgically replaced with a new one. Since I am currently undergoing radiation there is risk of infection and things not healing properly. A surgery would make things more difficult. I'm praying that the dr.'s plan A works! Our God is an Awesome God!

Thanks ever so very much to all for the prayers!! Love to all!!!

Peggy

Day before my Birthday!!-9/18/09

Hi All,

Yep! I turn 45 tomorrow. Sounds old. Feels old (only because of the radiation). But really it's all gone by so quick. It doesn't seem like half my life ago I was in college. Just seems like the other day. So strange. Will time continue in this pattern?? God only knows.

Today Larry and I met with Dr. Ivan Hayward. He seemed very apt and knowledgeable about the whole stenting process and then some. He answered most of my questions before I could bring out my list. He even had a plan A and plan B to deal with the port line that is in the Superior Vena Cava and will have to be moved about of the way to do this procedure. Overall it was a positive feeling. He said to call when we were ready to schedule the procedure. We will be waiting for me to finish the radiation first. We also have a 3rd day at Disneyland that we need to use before it expires in early October. I mean really...first things first. Seriously though, all seems stable and any if warning signs appear we will move fast and get the procedure going quick. The tumors seem stable and possibly smaller with radiation so far. This was expected.

As far as what follows, radiation; I have 7 more days. Then on to have the stent put in. Then back to Dr. Rigberg to do some chemo. I totally don't know what to expect there. From there it will be a wait and see how the tumors have responded to all the treatment. I'm praying they will all shrivel up and die.

I appreciate all the prayers. I say this all the time. And I really mean it! I love you all!!

Peggy

Ten down and ten to go-9/15/09

Hi All,

I have finished 10 radiation sessions and have ten to go. I'm feeling it for sure. Without going into all the gory details. Keep praying and thanks for praying. The nausea and vomiting are less and somewhat under control. Like one of my doctors said, "it's like a 3 ring circus". You use one medicine to help one problem and then that creates another problem. Last time I did radiation I did get radiation pneumonia. They fixed that with steroids. I saw Dr. Rigberg today and he did mention that their is fluid on my lungs again. That explains the constant tickle and cough.

Anyways...At Rigbergs today we talked about what he called me about last week after the scan. It looks as though my Superior Vena Cava is about 80% decreased. So I will need to have the vein stented. I still have not had a consultation with the radiologist who would do the procedure. That appointment with Dr. Hayward will be on Fri. The Dr. at my Radiation place suggested we wait to place the stent until they are finished with my radiation. This will run into the end of Sept. By my Fri. appointment that leaves about a week and a half left of radiation that is supposedly shrinking the tumors making it all a little less dangerous. I will wait till Fri. to find out what is next. Meantime I do have an appointment set with Dr. Kerr my regular family dr. We'll let him weigh in on all these changes since I have last seen him too.

Thankful for my family and friends and all the moments we have together. Thanks so much for all the prayers! I'm believing for a miracle and for God to reverse all of this and heal me!

Love to all!!, Peggy

Power Port Drama-9/10/09

Hi All,

I am all done with the scan at the hospital this AM. It was all kind of ridiculous that I had to register as an inpatient to have a scan. But, whatever!! It's done. It's was all crazy too. Last May I had my picc line removed and a Power Port put in. The picc line in my arm got a rash around the surrounding skin. It would not go away. So we decided to put a port in my chest instead. They installed a new device called a Power Port that can handle stronger flushes of fluid unlike your ordinary everyday port. So I'm all "new and improved" and "high tech" in the world of ports. The problem is that not all the nurses are familiar with this "new technology" and they don't want to use it. The only other option is to try to find a vein in one of my arms. Which often takes many pokes and digs and is painful and frustrating for everyone involved. So today they find a doctor who has been practicing for 40 years who says he'll use the port. It hurts as usual but it's just one poke so no big deal. They tape it up. Then they send me in the machine to start the contrast infusion and it's starts to hurt and burn and spray out all over my neck. So I am hollering for them to stop. And they do. It's really hurting and I'm tearing up and they are looking for the doctor who put the needle in. He comes and takes it out. They start to massage the area to break up all the contrast that is in my tissue instead of my vein. That was why it was burning. And that helps the pain to dissipate. The doctor seems obviously annoyed that it failed and didn't work. He kept saying it should have worked. Since he took it out he wanted to retry so he could flush it to see if it was blocked or what. The second time he tried it didn't hurt as much. He flushed it with saline and it didn't feel like anything. So they decided since the line was clear to try again. And, Thank-You Jesus, all went just fine. They flushed it before they removed the needle, apologized and sent me on my way. I think with all the excitement and uncertainty with the new port they just plum forgot to flush the port first. They always flush it before and after they do anything. I will need to be more proactive about all that in the future.

Sorry about the play by play with it all. Now I wait to hear back from Dr. Rigberg to see what they (Dr. Rigberg and Dr. Hayward) think I should do right now regarding my Superior Vena Cava. Apparently it is a risky procedure to stent that vein. God knows and God is in control. My next appointment with Dr. Rigberg is next Tues. I'm hoping I do not need a stent. I am hoping the radiation is shrinking the tumors.

I have been battling a lot of nausea and vomiting these past few days. Prayer to get that under control who be awesome. I have 6 days done out of 20. Still a long way to go with all this everyday stuff. It wears you down pretty good.

Love and Blessings to all!!

Peggy